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And I was born again

An eighteen years old boy, sitting on vehicle, was waiting for her friend in the parking. I completed the school and came with my friends to the parking. I saw him and talked to him. Mahi asked me to stay with him and talk to him. But I was in hurry so I told him that we would meet later. After 3 days, I came to know that he committed suicide. I was just shocked and I was feeling like the ground has slipped under my feet. Hearing this news, I just fainted and lost all my senses. When I became conscious, I was in my room looking at the ceiling. I was literally upset and getting depressed in the dark room. A girl, who used to enjoy her life, who used to all the mischief in the house and in school as well, became an introvert and that lonely girl. Yes, it was me. Gradually, I chose to talk less and stay away from everyone. I used to sit in some dark or empty roads where I could roam and scream. I was missing him; I was missing him like hell.

After some time, I accepted the fact and started blaming myself for his death. If I had talked to him and stayed with him for a bit, he would not have done this. I started hating myself. I had lost all my interests in life. I wanted to kill myself. Life has come to the end for me. After 6 months, I was diagnosed with depression and prescribed therapy. Belonging to a well reputed family, and due to social stigma, I couldn’t share my psychological illness to anyone neither my family nor friends. I started taking hypnotherapy in order to get sound sleep. I was asked to meet strangers and just talk. But I couldn’t do that.

Once I was sitting in the garden looking at the sunset and feeling the cold, breeze, fresh air. A young, tall, fair, fit guy came and sat just next to me. I didn’t notice that. I was just crying and devastated. Looking at me like this, He asked me, “Why are you crying?” I told him, “I am fine, Thanks.” I have just ignored him. But somehow he noticed some depression in me and said, “Life is beautiful, try to live every moment of your life because you only get one life.” I started listening to him. He told me the whole story about his life. He was a doctor and just got married. But then he was diagnosed with colon cancer. He has undergone surgery but didn’t work. He was trying every possible way to get treated and to get the life. I saw a burning desire in his eyes to live his life and to survive. Then I realized that everyone has its own ups and downs. But it is up to us how we are taking it. I decided to start the new life and make my friend proud. I recalled all my old memories and cherished them.

Next morning, I was feeling like it was my new born. I woke up and smiled at myself looking at the mirror, and said, “Welcome to the new life.” I got ready and thanked god for my new born.

Dr. Pooja Patel

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