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Positive Self-talk

Looking at his reflection in the mirror, Harsh scolded himself, “Don’t act smart and make a fool of yourself. You aren’t that confident guy, you want others to believe.” An important presentation was to be done and he was nervous before the meeting. Although Harsh had worked hard, he was dubious of carrying it out well.

* * * * * *

“Come on Malini, you can do it! Painting is your passion and colours soothe your soul. You dare have any second thoughts! Take a deep breath and just go for it.” Malini gave herself a mini pep talk before picking up the brush for her first group art exhibition.

SELF TALK: a continuous running dialogue inside our heads. Something which we all do. It can vary from self pity, to giving instructions, motivating, scolding, nagging, and it may even be accusing. Self talk can be about anything and anybody. It is your inner voice. Not until I started writing, did I realise the amount of self talk that I have and the importance of it. The truth is, that our self-talk can actually have a huge influence on the way we see ourselves, and the world around us. It can literally affect our perspective, not only about others, but also about the type of person we are.

Negative self-talk, that is getting angry and abusing yourself, will only lead to poor self confidence, low self-esteem and a very degraded opinion of yourself. All of which are not healthy for our overall well being. So obviously it is extremely vital that the self-talk we have should be positive and optimistic. It will go a long way in molding our personality and our relationships for the better.

There are many ways of cultivating a habit of having a positive self-talk. Let’s take a sneak peek into a few of them.

Have a strong faith in the almighty. I like one thing that my husband keeps saying. “I am his favourite!” I think we all are God’s favourite children. Definitely he loves all of us. He has sent us with a purpose and will only do what is good for us. This religious aspect will help boost your self-esteem which goes hand in glove with having a positive self-talk. Everything that happens in life, either brings pleasure or experience.

Keep distance from negative thinking people. It may not be possible if you have such specimens in the family or at your workplace. Nevertheless, be smart enough to limit your time with them. They are the ones who tend to soak you with their pessimism and change your attitude as well.

Count your blessings! It’s a beautiful way of having an optimistic outlook towards life and the people around you. Believe me there are innumerable things to be grateful for. Gratitude makes you more kind and compassionate towards others and yourself.

Comparison is a deadly enemy. It corrodes your very living existence. You never know what goes on behind closed doors, and what the person has gone through for the life that he or she is living today. Moreover, we all live our own individual lives, which is unique to us.

Believe in success, but at the same time, don’t fear failures. It’s part and parcel of the journey. If victory gives you a high, failures give you a chance to reflect back and keeps you grounded. Both are important.

Treat your loved ones with care and sympathy. The way you handle your relationships, will show what type of treatment you will receive in return. And that will shape your self-talk. What goes around, comes around!!

Let the past be where it belongs…. in the past! Don’t keep digging and crying over it. It’s dead and gone. PERIOD!! Learn from it and move on towards making better memories.

Avoid too much exposure to social media and television updates, that only showcase bad news. Life and the world have a lot of nice things too, waiting to be appreciated. It’s only a matter of choice, which direction you wish to turn to. For example, people who keep watching crime thrillers feel there are only criminals surrounded everywhere.

Don’t live like an animal, having only survival needs. Some people only live to eat and can’t seem to think or talk of anything else. Dream and have goals in life. It will give your existence a meaning. It will make living more fun, enthusiastic and filled with a purpose.

Last but not the least, love yourself. Be kind and forgiving. Only when you see good within you and value yourself, will others do the same. We all have an abundance of goodness in us. You only need to take a moment and recognise it.

“Self confidence is the most attractive quality a person can have. How can anyone see how great you are if you can’t see it yourself?”

Isn’t this quote self explanatory?

It’s damn easy to become negative, especially because we have ample amount of preconceived ideas and we tend to build up our next set of thoughts and conversations based on that.

It’s the positivity that will help you bring proactive changes and more coping strategies when faced with stressful situations and challenges in life.

“It’s not what we say out loud that really determines our lives. It’s what we whisper to ourselves that has the most power.”

This is a deep thought to ponder and practice.

Shamim Merchant

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